As mentioned in my previous post I (puttana) recently took my son to go  visit a distant friend of mine (whore). Our mutual friend, who couldnt be there with us, sent us a plastic rooster (Prince Poppy Cock aka Cock aka Drake) that we were to bring with us everywhere we went, in place of her. 


So without further ado I present you the

The adventures of Puttana, the Whore and the Cock!!! 

 When we first arrived at the whores house the cock was waiting for us. After getting the children to bed we got busy having fun with our new cock. First we gave it a beer and a few smokes. 

 

After a few hours of drinking and smoking our cock got hungry so he attacked the freshly baked brownies.

He then got a little frisky and found himself a shaved pussy

After that our cock was exhausted and went to bed. In the morning he was up and ready for some breakfast. Nothing better than some Tim Hortons in the morning. He was a happy cock.

After a nutritious breakfast our cock wondered over to the kitchen. Thats where he met his soul mate and fell in love. 

He had her sizzling in no time

We then took our Cock on a road trip to the Whores cabin

On the way we found him some semeyn

And stopped to visit his momma

After getting up to the cabin we did a bit of food shopping to stock up for the week. Gabbi grew an attachment to our cock so she took the job of showing him around the supermarket.

While there he had the honor of meeting Captain Morgan himself!!!!

That got him very excited!!!!

The rest of that day was spent settling into the cabin. The following day we took our Cock to the beach on Lake Michigan. 

The kids had so much fun playing with him. They buried themselves in the sand and then our cock. 

 

 The burying of the cock caused a few fractures in our cock so for the rest of the trip we had to take special care of our cock. We did not want to break it completely making it totally useless.

The rest of that night we roasted marshmallows and relaxed. 

The following day we headed on over to MacWoods dune rides. Our cock really enjoyed this adventure. Here he is with the Whore on the scooter waiting to have his ride. He loves rides.

Here he is relaxing with us on the dunes

We also visited the little Sable Point Lighthouse that day.  He loved how erect in to the sky the lighthouse was. 

Then once again we spent the day on the beach. 

The next day we visited another lighthouse and some more beaches. We finished the day with a visit to Hooters (request of the Cock)

Cock likes it HOT

Here he is posing with the kids and the Hooters ladies.

By the end of that night the Cock was not in good condition. His fractures were quickly turning in to full breaks. We decided he needed to rest for a while so we spent a few days on the beach. 

Our Cock would like to thank you for reading about his journeys and leave you with this final message

 

Our Trip to Michigan

This summer I decided to take my son on a trip to Michigan to visit my friend Erica. Erica and I met  on Cafemom (a website for moms). We've been online friends for 4 years. Last year we met up for the first time in Orlando. She arrived in Orlando for her family vacation the day before we were leaving after the kids National dance competition. We only got to hang out for a few hours which wasnt nearly enough so we decided I would fly out this year to spend some fun quality time together. The year felt like it dragged on forever yet when the week we were there seemed to just fly by :(    We had such a wonderful time. The kids got along better than we could have ever expected. Her youngest and I bonded over hair mouse and conditioner lol We both have curly hair so I taught her how to condition and mouse to make it look smooth and bouncy. Being the girly girl she is she loved it.

We have another friend we met on Cafemom that lives in California. She couldnt make it to Michigan to meet us so instead sent us a 10 inch plastic Roaster we named Prince Poppycock aka The COCK. Gabbi insisted on calling him Drake lol So our job for the week was to take our cock with us everywhere we went and take pictures. I will make a new post with the adventures of Puttana, the Whore and their Cock. (Erica calls me Puttana and I call her Whore......long story and inside joke)

 Here are some pics of our adventures

Erica, Robbie, Gabbi, Caterina and me at Silver Lake during the Mac Woods Dune Rides (lots of fun and highly recommended)

Robbie and Gabbi walking in the water by the Old Mission Lighthouse- This is my favorite picture.

We stopped at Hooters for dinner. The kids loved the wings and Spunky little Gabbi even told off a few drunk guys who kept trying to get in the picture. You can see how mad Gabbi still was at them lmao

So moral of this story is embrace the Internet. You may be luck enough to find a lifelong amazing friend like I did!!!!!

Building a deck.......what are we thinking

We have a small 10 x 10 deck off our kitchen. The dogs use the deck to go down to the dog pen but as adorable as they are the little shits have destroyed the deck. They insist on using it as their own personal toilet. GRRRRRR We've lived here for about 8 years or so and have only used the deck for personal use a hand full of times. It has gone to the dogs, literally. So we have decided to rip it down and rebuild it to a 15 x 18 deck with a fenced off path to lead the dogs directly from the doggie door to the stairs leading to the dog pen. This way they will not have access to the rest of the deck and we may actually be able to entertain out there.

Wanna know how this plan started????? A jacuzzi started it all. Tom found a jacuzzi free on craigslist. It is an $8000 jacuzzi in fantastic condition so he just had to have it (not that Im complaining). He then called a jacuzzi company and had them remove it and relocate it to our house. We now have a wonderful jacuzzi sitting in the back yard waiting for a place to be set up and used. That means we now need a patio, right???? Well we cant build a patio until we figure out a way down to it (we have a raised ranch). The way down would have to be through the deck but the deck is currently unusable so thats how we got to rebuilding and reconfiguring the deck. So free jacuzzi now equals god know how much money on a 15 x 18 deck and a 15 x 20 brick patio. We should be done just in time for winter............anyone up for a snowy dip in the jacuzzi?

I will keep you all updated on the progress. Today we are ordering the lumber. As soon as that arrives we'll start demolition of the current deck.  Pics to follow!!!!

Delicious recipes great to pack on the go

Time for me to share some of my families favorite on the go meals. They are easy to prepare and keep warm in my previously mentioned cooler and washcloths.

Vegetable Strudel!!!! 

This is a studio favorite. I have to hide the kids in the car to eat it or everyone else digs in and finishes it on them lol. Even those who dont normally like these vegetables can not help but devour this dish. Great way to get your kids to eat their veggies!!!!

What you need -

•   3-4 sheets Pepperidge Farm® Puff Pastry (they work the best without breaking)
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon water
•  4 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 medium green pepper, cut into 2-inch-long strips
• 1 medium red pepper, cut into 2-inch-long strips
• 3 ounces mushrooms, sliced
• 1 cubed medium eggplant
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon dried basil leaves, crushed
• 8 (1/2 ounce) slices mozzarella cheese

Directions

1. Thaw the pastry sheets at room temperature for 40 minutes or until it's easy to handle. Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. Mix the egg and water in a small bowl.
2. Heat the oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the peppers, mushrooms, eggplant, onion, garlic powder and basil and cook until the vegetables are tender and the liquid is evaporated. Let cool to room temperature.
3. Unfold the pastry sheets on a lightly floured surface. With the short side facing you, spoon the vegetable mixture onto the middle of the pastry sheet to within 1 inch of the edges. Top with the cheese. Fold in the short sides of the pastry sheet. Then fold over the long sides to close it up like a burrito. Make sure the ends are tucked in to seal.  Place seam-side down on a baking sheet. Brush with the egg mixture.
4. Bake for 25 minutes or until the pastry is golden.     

Each pastry feeds 2-3 people unless one of them is my husband who eats an entire one.

Pasta with Feta, Spinach and Tomato

This is another family favorite. My husband requests this as a weekly dish.

Ingredients

• 1 head of garlic (chopped)
  
• 1 pound of Rottelle pasta
• 2 6ounce bags of baby fresh spinach
• 8 ounces of Feta cheese
• 1 pint of grape tomatoes sliced in half
•  2 tablespoons of olive oil

Directions

1. Boil pasta
2. Heat the oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute until soft (do not brown)
3. Add spinach to skillet a little at a time. Spinach will wilt and shrink allowing you to add more.   
4. After all spinach has been added and is wilted add tomatoes. Stir, Cover and simmer for 20-30 mins or until tomatoes are soft and cooked through. 
5. Drain pasta and mix with garlic, spinach and tomato mix. Add feta and mix well.     

Check back often for more recipes

Something to make you giggle

Apples and Oranges

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

Outsmart a woman???

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing...

We'll be gone for a long weekend.  This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack

enough clothes for a 3 day weekend.  And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?  We're leaving at 4:30 PM from

the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.. 

'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.' 

The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend, he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good.  The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught

many fish?  He says, 'Yes!  Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. 

He said, 'But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?' 

{You'll love the answer}


The wife replies, "I did. They're in your tackle box."


Never, Never, Never 
try to outsmart a woman!!!

 

 

Silent but deadly

There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for her to seek help. Finally, however, she was persuaded to consult her family doctor.

After she filled out all the proper forms and had waited about 20 minutes in the waiting room the doctor called her into his office, leaned back in his chair, folded his hands into a steeple and asked her how he could help.

"Doctor," she said, "I have a very bad gas problem."

"A gas problem?" replied the doctor.

"Yes. Yesterday afternoon, I had lunch with the Secretary of State and his wife and had six, um, er, ahhh...silent gas emissions. Last night, I had dinner with the governor and his wife and had (BLUSH) four silent gas emissions. Then, while sitting in your waiting room I had five silent gas emissions! Doctor, you've got to help me! What can we do?! "

"Well," said the doctor thoughtfully, "I think the first thing we're going to do is give you a hearing test." 

Dance Moms on Life Time

OK so who is following this show. Im not sure if I like it or if I want to slap some bitches hehehe  Or maybe I like it because it makes me want to slap some bitches lol This show is so staged its not even funny. What mother in their right mind (well maybe thats the problem? They're not in their right mind) would allow Ms Abby Lee to talk to them and their children that way. Holy crap that lady is psycho. Oh and how in the world does someone teach someone else to point their toe if that person cant even see their own toes let alone an entire dance. Yup Im calling bullshit on Abby Lee doing any of that choreography. She may clean it but theres no way she teaches it. Theres so much more that is so NOT believable.

So mommies what do you say about it? Yay or Nay

How to feed your kids healthy and eat on the go!!!!

Being a mom of extremely active and busy kids takes a lot of organization, commitment and tons of mommy time outs :) Im sure just like us most nights you have to eat dinner on the go. With many families this has led to many fast food meals. Kind of ironic considering most parents keep their kids active to keep them healthy, right????? I did not want to fall in to that category so I spend hours upon hours finding different recipes that are healthy, easy to cook and good to pack in a cooler. I cook our dinner in the afternoon and time it to come out of the oven or crockpot (or off the stove) 15 mins before we need to leave the house. This way the food goes directly in to the cooler and stays warm and ready to eat. 

First thing you need to do is buy a cooler and some Tupperware (I love to reuse the chinese food containers). I use a thermal bag type of cooler. To keep our meals warm for hours I discovered a neat little trick.  I wet 3 washcloths and microwave them for 6 minutes. I then use tongs (the washcloths will be very hot) and place them each in their own gallon size zip lock bag. After I pack the cooler I place the washcloths around the food and zip the bag shut.

We usually leave the house at 3:30 and dont usually open the cooler to eat until 7-7:30. Each and every time we open the cooler we are greeted with steam and hot meals!!!!!

Check out future blogs for great recipes.